Dating when you are a single parent can be difficult at times and with it brings many decisions, one of the biggest decisions being, deciding when the time is right to introduce your date to your children. It is something you will need to think carefully about. Everyone is different and have diverse opinions on this. Some people feel it is not fair to hide their children from a date they are starting. Some feel it is better to be upfront in the beginning. It is a personal decision and you should always give your child your honest opinion.
The first thing to consider when introducing your date to your child is whether your child is ready to be introduced to a new person. Everyone is different and feel different levels of apprehensiveness. If your child is still adjusting to being babysat and you are dating, you may need to follow your child’s own pace, introduce your date slowly. It is also important to notice if your child has any issues with your date. If things don’t feel right with your date and your child, just walk away.
You must also be prepared for a future partner. You must always tell your child, at the time you introduce your date, how you feel about dating and being swing into a serious relationship too early. Many kids will not have the readiness to deal with a new person and you need to tell your child, the risk of you getting hurt is too great. The only exception to this is if your child is extremely jealous of another child’s boyfriend and you will have to break the ice to get your child to adjust.
With the amount of time you have to devote to your child, it is also important to give yourself time to do your own internal work. No child is ever really ready to be placed into a relationship with a parent where there is a level of love and understanding. Take some time away to rediscover yourself.
It is also vital that you don’t force your date to like you. It is a different matter if you force a conversation, give your all, or just hope they get the idea, but no child will feel prepared to go into a relationship, with you, that you forcing them into it. It should be your decision.
With the time you have both spent together, decide whether you want to continue the date and that it doesn’t just end there. If you decide to give it one more shot, spend some quality time alone somewhere that will be fun and different. That way you are not pressured into being some type of commitment, but still give it a fair chance.
If you have talked to your child and decided that a second meeting will be comfortable for your child, then you can tell your date that your child is not comfortable with meeting, walking to their residence, and talking, especially at a time you know your child isn’t fully ready for this.
So before your first date, show your child that you and your date are going to have a lot of fun and that you are excited to be spending time together. Going slow is important to make sure your child is not intimidated.
Your child will not like every person you date, so you need to meet a few special people, and spend time with each of them.
It is just normal for a child to be a little apprehensive at the thought of you and your date spending time together. Don’t be frustrated or upset with your child. They are nervous just like you. So relax and tell yourself it is going to be okay. Just keep telling yourself it will be okay and your date will be okay.
It is a good idea for your date to meet your child, and maybe even have a bit of a conversation before they depart. This will help ease your child’s concerns about your date. And if your child is really worried about your meeting, then have them written down for your date to read. Tell your child you are glad they came, and then write down their name and call them when you are picking your date up in the future to take them out again.
It is important your child has a parent that you trust and who has the necessary experience with dating for your child. Not only should your child trust you, but they should also have a set of standards they can look to. Hopefully, your dating experience will also have taught your child some important things about how to date in a family.
It is not possible to know all of the needs, wants, and fears the other person might have with you when you first start dating, but trying to find out the basic information through your date will prevent you both from unnecessary heartache. Put your fears aside, and get to know the person you are dating before you get to serious. It is best to do things slowly, so you can give your date plenty of time to come around to meeting your expectations and desires for a real boyfriend/girlfriend.